English
Ten rules for a fair argument
Disagreements, especially fights in front of children. This is a subject in which there are still many myths and rumors. For example, the child should not see their parents when they argue. The reality is that they can see it, but they should also see that the parents forgive and reconcile. And they close the argument in such way that it does not affect the family and family life.
Children learn from what they see. If they see that aggression and anger can be treated in a non-aggressive way, they learn really valuable skills.
The good news is that the skill of constructive argument can be learned. It requires conscious presence, basic knowledge of fair communication, and the desire to change things. Both parents have to fulfill these rules.
What rules we should keep?
- talk about your feelings
- solve current problems now
- use descriptive language
- tak „time out“, if you feel your emotions affect you. Breathe deeply and carry on then.
- avoid communication fouls:
a) self - reflection (I judge you according to my deeds - one the most frequent "sins")
b) interpretation (from behavior, acting and my point of view, which I have on the dispute) - do not tell the other one what to do
- avoid manipulation and blackmailing
- do not scold
- do not be ironic
- do not generalize like "always, every time"..
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